For too long, I lived in a cage of my own making. The bars? Other people’s opinions. The lock? My fear of failure. The key? Realizing that neither of those things actually mattered.

The Prison of Perception

We spend so much of our lives worried about what others think. Will they judge me? Will they laugh? Will they think less of me if I try and fail? These questions kept me playing small, staying safe, and ultimately staying stuck.

But here’s what I’ve learned: people are going to think whatever they want to think anyway. And that’s okay. As Mel Robbins explores in her book “Let Them,” the most liberating thing you can do is let people have their opinions without letting those opinions have you.

Let them think you’re crazy for trying. Let them doubt you. Let them judge your choices.

None of it matters as much as you think it does.

Better to Regret the Risk

There’s a quote that shifted my perspective entirely: “It’s better to regret the risk than to regret not taking the risk.”

When you look back on your life, what will you regret more? The time you tried something and it didn’t work out, or all the times you never tried at all?

Failed attempts give you stories, lessons, and growth. They prove you had the courage to show up. But the things you never attempt? Those leave you with nothing but the haunting question: “What if?”

I’ve carried too many “what ifs” already. I’m done collecting them.

Breaking the Pattern

Here’s the truth that no one wants to hear but everyone needs to: if you want something you’ve never had, you need to do something you’ve never done before.

You can’t expect different results while doing the same things. Growth lives outside your comfort zone. Success lives on the other side of fear. And the person you want to become is waiting for you to take that first uncomfortable step.

Failing isn’t the opposite of success—it’s part of the process. Every person you admire has failed more times than you’ve tried. The difference is they kept going.

Permission to Be Yourself

I spent years performing a version of myself that I thought others would accept. I censored my ideas, dimmed my enthusiasm, and played it safe. All to avoid judgment. All to avoid failure.

But you know what? That was failing too. Failing to be authentic. Failing to live fully. Failing to give my real self a chance.

So I’m making a different choice now. I’m choosing to be me—messy, imperfect, still-figuring-it-out me. I’m choosing to try things that might not work. I’m choosing to let people think whatever they want while I focus on becoming who I’m meant to be.

Failing Forward

Failure isn’t a dead end—it’s data. It tells you what doesn’t work so you can adjust. It builds resilience. It proves you’re brave enough to be in the arena instead of safe in the stands.

NASA doesn’t call it failure; they call it a test. Athletes don’t see losses as endings; they see them as training. And you? You can choose to see your failures as proof that you’re trying, growing, and living a life that matters.

The Choice

So here’s my invitation to you: take the risk. Try the thing you’re afraid to try. Start the project. Have the conversation. Make the change.

And when people judge you? Let them. When things don’t go perfectly? Learn from it. When you fail? Celebrate that you had the courage to try.

Because the only real failure is living a life where you never gave yourself permission to be who you truly are.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather fail as myself than succeed as someone I’m not.

The cage is open. It’s time to fly.